Sunday
I really don't have time for this, but I have a need for venting. I want to vent about values.
Values are something that differs a lot across cultures. I value modesty and honesty, utilitarianism. I value personal integrity. I value intimacy, physicality, warmth. I do not understand when people talk behind someone else's back, when someone is scared of physical closeness, when someone cannot tell me what is wrong. I cannot understand how anyone can be happy all the time. I haven't grasped the concept of being "excited" about buying milk, getting a new pair of shoes in two weeks or whatnot. I cannot understand why my values are all of a sudden not worth anything.
Don't laugh at me when I tell you that I need people to look at me when I speak, touch me when conversing. This is how I have been interacting with other people my whole life, anything else is for me foreign. Why can't that be accepted? I will adjust, give me some time and the only thing you will notice is my accent. Otherwise I can become just like you. Though my fundamental values are still the same.
I want to tell you that you make me happy - no, I am not in love with you
I want to hug you when I see you to make sure that you know that I care about you - no, I am not trying to make a move on you
I want to keep eye contact with you while speaking - no, I am not flirting
I freak out when someone tells me that they are really great at something - Sorry, it is sort of taboo where I come from
You ask how I am, and I hesitate in my response - I don't want to lie, yet I don't want to tell you the answer because it is personal
You make a joke about my heritage - I smile, because I have no idea why that is so funny to you
I don't show emotions they way you do - does not mean that I don't feel them.
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