Thursday
Doing a research project about Sierra Leone, it is supposed to focus on development after the civil war but I am stuck reading about the history. Or, I am reading reports from HRW about what people went through. It makes me supersad. I have read about the most brutal rapes, butchering, torture.. It is so distant. I am trying to not get too attached, because if I do it might mess up my work, but at the same time I want to get attached, I want to feel it. I want to put myself through the tough feelings. Why? Because that is the least I can do. I am an ignorant being who have gotten most of life served, not had to fight for my existence. I need to understand how grateful I should be. But I am not. Or, I guess I am but not to that extent. I should be so much more. I have so many precious things, I bet I don't even show them how important they are to me. Scared of getting too attached. Melancholy, go away!
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